A Certified Mediator With Over 30 Years Of Experience As A Litigator, Corporate Counsel And Superior Court Judge

How to tell if mediation is suitable for a divorcing couple

On Behalf of | Oct 9, 2024 | Mediation

While some divorces undeniably require courtroom litigation, more and more couples are now exploring alternative dispute resolution methods, with mediation being a particularly attractive approach for many. Mediation offers a less adversarial way to end a marriage, often leading to more amicable and faster resolutions.

However, it’s crucial to acknowledge that this approach is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Understanding whether mediation is suitable for a couple can help save time and emotional stress.

Both parties are willing to negotiate

Mediation works best when both parties are open to negotiating and are willing to compromise on key issues. Suppose one or both spouses are hell-bent to win at all costs. In that case, mediation may not be an effective approach. A good indicator that mediation might work is if both partners recognize the value of maintaining control over their unique situation rather than leaving all the decision-making to the court.

A desire for an amicable split

Mediation can be a fantastic choice if the couple is committed to parting ways without unnecessary hostility. This process encourages respectful communication and aims to preserve relationships, which is particularly beneficial if a couple has children together. Couples who prefer a less adversarial approach and want to maintain a degree of friendship or co-parenting cooperation may find mediation more suitable than a court battle.

Effective communication

While there may still be tension or emotional pain during a divorce, the ability to engage in productive discussions is critical. If the couple can talk through their differences, then mediation may be an excellent choice for them. On the other hand, if one party consistently shuts down or there’s an ongoing pattern of toxic communication, mediation could become difficult.

Both parties feel safe and equal

For mediation to work, both spouses must feel that they can equally participate in the process. Mediation may not be suitable if there is a history of:

  • Domestic abuse
  • Manipulation
  • Power imbalances

In these cases, the court’s formal protections may be necessary to help ensure fairness and safety.

Mediation can be a better approach than traditional divorce litigation for couples who are willing to communicate and compromise. Before committing to mediation, legal practitioners should help their clients carefully evaluate their relationship dynamics, their divorce’s complexity and their willingness to negotiate.